What makes ketchup fancy?

One day while exploring the dangerous catacombs of my pantry, I stumbled upon a strange inconsistency. two packages of ketchup were different. One said ketchup and the other said Fancy ketchup. totally bewildered I did some investigating into what makes ketchup fancy. Well it turns out there is no difference what so ever other than a clever marketing manager. the only difference is the label.
Whodathunkit?

What is a jiffy?

One day while existing in the universe a question hit me like an overly large purple scallop freshly warmed and covered in parsley. What is a jiffy?? Well I found out and that got me thinking. What are some other unused measurements. So I found some.

Gou (180 milliliters — better known as a rice cup for an electric cooker)

pack year (cigarette consumption based on one pack a day for a year),

nibble (typically four bits of binary code, or half a byte)

score (20 of something)

hand (4 inches of horse height),

twip (1/20 of a typesetting point)

thrave (24 sheaves of wheat)

shake (10 nanoseconds),

mickey (ratio of computer mouse movement to onscreen cursor movement)

jansky (strength of radio signals from space),

butt (two hogsheads, or about 126 gallons, of booze),

Chain (66 feet)

Quark (smallest possible measurement for anything)

Homer (220 liters)

perch (24.75ft^3)

Gill (1/2 cup liquid)

And MY personal favorite (Ellipses)...

smoot (a measure of length developed by some MIT students, equal to 5 feet, 7 inches — the height of one Oliver R. Smoot).
Whodathunkit??

How do moms always know?

One day while trying to sneak back into my house the old tradition of a lamp being flicked on was realized. (Even though I never remember a lamp being there) and within that dimmed lamp light was my own mother looking at me with a disapproving look. Somehow or another she recounted to ME what I had been up to that evening. I want to explain to the world why mothers seem to know so much, No one knows exactly how...but I have a few theories.
I Have narrowed it down to three possible reasons.
1. All moms are secretly master Ninjas and follow you in the shadows of the night waiting for you to misbehave.
2. Moms are psychic and simply read your thoughts
3. My personal favorite,Moms have implanted micro chips under our skin that simultaneously track our movements, detect all substances put in our body, and monitor our heartbeat,sweat glands, and deception center in our brain,
Whodathunkit?

What is Jell-O made of?

On a dark and snowy evening I was partaking in the gravitationally challenged substance known to the world as Jell-O. Me being the curious being that I am wondered what makes up such an Active gelatinous foodstuff. Upon further research I discovered that the dancing viscous that played on my taste buds was in fact made up of Bones. Yes it surprised me to, and if you'll be so kind as to pick up your jaw I will explain.
It all starts with something dead. The thing that is dead,after being properly serviced by butchers and such, has its bones sent to the factory that makes Jell-O.
The Workers at the factory grind the bones and boil them down to a slurry and strain it through a net until is looks similar to spaghetti. This stringy substance in questions is now almost pure protein.After being ground up again it is dried and flavored to be shipped out to us loyal customers. But please don't let this account ruin your love for the jiggly goodness that we all know and love just because it once held up some poor defenseless animal.
Whodathunkit??